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Rule 3: Say Something Nice It's a myth that guys are worried about only their own pleasure.
In fact, most dudes have a harder time enjoying themselves when they're unsure if their partner is having a good time.
Speaking from experience here: Long-term marriage does not a vibrant sex life make.
Quite the opposite, in fact—I’m six years and two kids in, and I think the last time I saw my husband’s penis was way back when Gwyn and Chris were still coupled.
"Your goal should be to pay close attention to what works and what doesn't for the other person.
That way, you can please them right from the start." So keep things slow and steamy from the get-go.
With all that chemistry, the sex has to be off the hook from the start, right? "Getting intimate with a new person can be clumsy," says Chris Fariello, Ph D, director of the Institute for Sex Therapy, in Philadelphia.Dating is amazing, a wild, beautiful blur of crisp dresses and fancy dinners; candlelit lovemaking; manicures; waxes; blowouts; everything impromptu and perfect and new.But not so much post–“I do.” Trade in the sleek and shiny for the dull and threadbare: You’ve walked down the aisle arm in arm, the joint tax return has been filed, and the mystery and magic of courtship has been replaced by the wholly mundane of everyday life.During foreplay, any time his hands start to wander too daringly or it seems like he's going to try to go for the main event, grab his wrists and hold them tight. "Most men love it when a woman does something aggressive like this because it helps them understand what she wants," says Carole Altman, Ph D, author of Rule 2: Acknowledge Awkward Moments Of course we all want to be thought of as a goddess in the sack, so the instinct is to ignore any gawky moments and pray on the kama sutra that he will too.But things will go much more smoothly if you do the opposite.