Funny rules for dating my son Jasmin seks chat

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Have you seen the "10 Rules for Dating My Daughter?I always get a chuckle out of that when it came around!You may also be enlightened as to the use of many natural herbal substances, or crystallized and powdered substances.We're not even going to mention things that can be injected, are we?I use the menu button shutdown and the screen goes blank, but the system does not fully shut down.The only way to get it to shut down is to hold the physical power button down till it shuts down.

You may even be using one of these methods, "just in case". Well, I'd like to offer one wee extra bit of information for your general edification - if you even THINK of touching my son in an intimate fashion, I will break every bone in your hands - no questions asked - just to helpfully remind you of my favorite method of contraception, which is this nifty "new" idea called "abstinence" until marriage...

I have noted that the recent fashions have tended towards piercing various, shall we say, "interesting" body parts. )I have no doubt you are a popular girl, and you may have the entire football team panting after you.

I have no real problems with your basic pierced eyebrow, nose, lip, tongue or belly button, honest, but be aware that, with only the most helpful of intentions, I also have a rather large pair of pliers in my toolbox. This is fine with me as long as it is okay with my son.

s father, who I believe suspected me of wanting to place my hands on his daughter? He would open the door and immediately affect a good-naturedly murderous expression, holding out a handshake that, when gripped, felt like it could squeeze carbon into diamonds. Remembering how unfairly persecuted I felt when I would pick up my dates, I do my best to make my daughter? If I ask you where you are going and with whom, you have one chance to tell me the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth so help you God. When my Agent Orange starts acting up, the voices in my head frequently tell me to clean the guns as I wait for you to bring my daughter home. Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter:- Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool.- Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight.- Places where there is darkness.- Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness.- Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat.- Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay.- Hockey games are okay.- Old folks homes are better. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been.

Rule Eight: The following places are not appropriate for a date with my daughter:- Places where there are beds, sofas, or anything softer than a wooden stool.- Places where there are no parents, policemen, or nuns within eyesight.- Places where there is darkness.- Places where there is dancing, holding hands, or happiness.- Places where the ambient temperature is warm enough to induce my daughter to wear shorts, tank tops, midriff T-shirts, or anything other than overalls, a sweater, and a goose down parka zipped up to her throat.- Movies with a strong romantic or sexual theme are to be avoided; movies which feature chainsaws are okay.- Hockey games are okay.- Old folks homes are better. I may appear to be a potbellied, balding, middle-aged, dimwitted has-been. Still, I want to be fair and open minded about this issue, so I propose this compromise: You may come to the door with your underwear showing and your pants ten sizes too big, and I will not object. If you want to be on time for the movie, you should not be dating.

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