Godly tips for dating
We often hear complaints from readers about the confusion, hurt and sexual sin they've encountered despite their best intentions.Many want to know how they can go about getting to know someone and eventually getting married without getting hurt or compromising their faith.A wise man once told me that there were only two outcomes for dating relationships: getting married or breaking up.“The secret,” he said, “is knowing how to handle a dating relationship so you know if the other person is worth marrying or he or she is honored in the breakup.” Unfortunately, it seems like many young singles struggle to figure out just how to handle dating–and I’m not the only one who’s noticed how weird the Christian dating scene can be.At the opposite extreme, there is “Faux Christian Dating”—in which young Christians have no idea what to do with dating, so they avoid it. “Hanging out” leads to all kinds of mixed feelings. Stop evaluating whether the new girl at church is hot enough and “low-maintenance” enough for your liking.If you take notice, if you are intrigued or interested, make a date! We are talking about one afternoon or evening together, not a lifetime.
Everyone is different when you get them one-on-one.This involves judging a potential guy or girl for the 38 qualities you are looking for in an ideal mate—before even grabbing coffee together. Sometimes the “hanging out” leads to hooking up, sans dating, which is another uber-confusing side effect of the Faux Christian Dating cycle. What if Christians just began to date like normal people—not dating toward immediate marriage and not eschewing dating for the less-desirable “hanging out” no man’s land?It’s like arranged marriages where no one is making the arrangements, and it doesn’t seem to work very well. Here’s what I think it would require: Stop evaluating whether the guy who’s taken an interest in you is strong and tenderhearted enough to raise your future kids.I don’t have first-hand knowledge, but thanks to reality TV, I believe it appears to involve asking the woman’s dad if she is available to date, and possibly not kissing until the actual wedding.Outside the Duggar-verse, there is the less overt but just as prevalent “ideal spouse” dating. Did she want my sweatshirt because she was cold, or because she likes me?